Secret Things

Oh my God, this movie is so dirty! Bad! It's bad, and pornographic and hilarious and disturbing.

I love French movies.

OKAY...

I've watched hella movies since I've been on, so here's a quick take:

Date Movie - Pretty much died after the Napolean Dynamite part. Yes, I know that was at the beginning

The Decalogue - I watched four more and then I gave up again. Someday I may watch the last three.

Memento Mori - Pretty confusing, but apparantly that's an Asian horror movie requirement. Somewhat amusing.

Sarah Silverman: Jesus is Magic - Well he is, but Sarah is not.

Imagine Me and You - Imagine a cardboard cutout popcorn love triangle comedy done lesbian style.

The Madness of King George - Funny, even though I didn't watch it all.

The Crucible - Watch how Daniel Day Lewis's teeth get really nasty in the end. Very realistic.

Reality Bites - Apparantly Winona Ryder has a thing for guys with nasty teeth, e.g., Ethan Hawke

Creep - Might be scary if the "monster" didn't look like a ninety pound weakling with yellow skin. And Lola apparantly forgot her running capabilites.

The Vertical Ray of the Sun - Hard to watch if you have a dirty mind like me. Okay, fun to watch if you have a dirty mind like me.

One Missed Call - Funny.

After Life - Nice, quiet movie.

Traffic - Made me crave cocaine myself. Not really.Good cast.

See No Evil - I totally guessed who the real bad guy was. Other than that, it was a gratuitous gore fest with no reason or reason. Defies horror movie rules of killing minorities, but I discovered another rule: the minorities do die, but if you're a double minority (e.g., black and a lesbian), they cancel each other out and you're as good as white.

Posiedon - Cliched. Good until Freddy and Mia die. Then stupid.

The DaVinci Code - Audrey Tautou is completely wasted and Tom Hanks looks like he has hair plugs. Ian McKellan is the cutest old man, though.

P.S. Alias ended badly, as predicted. Horribly. Complete shit.

Currently Watching 24 - Seasons 1-4 see related

One Conclusion:

Watching the first four seasons of 24 in a relatively short span of time has led me to some conclusion about the show with the unique premise of one day lasting an entire season, that one day usually having something to do with a terrorist attack and uber-agent Jack Bauer. Here are my conclusions, and if you've never seen the show, don't bitch if I spoil everything.

Conclusion 1: Every season must fulfill certain requirements: Jack must act outside the law, and also die. There must be a mole inside CTU. There must be a bad guy with long, pretty hair. All terrorists will end up being funded or aided by rich white Americans. There must be a snipy, whiny CTU agent who spoils everything, and Jack must kick their ass. There must be a whiny CTU agent who always wants to do thing by the letter of the law, and Jack must kick their ass. All CTU superiors are anal idiots. At least one CTU agent experiences a personal tragedy.

Conclusion 2: More Mia Kirshner, and please, God, no more Dennis Hopper with the worst accent ever!

Conclusion 3: Tony and Michelle should never, under any circumstances, kiss onscreen, because it's the most nauseating kissing I've ever seen.

Conclusion 4: Kiefer Sutherland is fiiiiiine.

That's it. Nothing very brilliant or insightful there. Just my lame observations. The show is good, though. It's really good and involving and I hope that it continues to evolve, but also that it does something a little different in this current season.

Currently Watching Eyes Without a Face - Criterion Collection see related

Before Nip/Tuck...

There was Dr. Gennesier, and his tireless quest to fit his daughter with a face. I wonder, if back in 1959, when this movie was released, if audiences were less demanding about plot holes and inconsistencies. My modern critic's mind poses a hundred questions about these older movies, and sometimes that prevents me from really enjoying the movie, accepting the era it was made in and the demands set forth at the time, being different than now. But that is the reason I love old movies; they're different, and so very entertaining.

That being said, the movie is...affecting. Some parts were unsettling. I wasn't expecting to see such a graphic depiction of the facial transplant, and as someone who change the channel on Nip/Tuck every time they operate, it made me a little squeamish. There were long sequences of people walking up and down the stairs; that became a bit tedious, like the walking through the woods in Rashomon. Another thing I like about old movies is that there is less dialogue, it seems, and so more must be read from the actors' expressions and movements. It makes an impression on your mind, the wide eyes of the disfigured Christiane, hidden behind a mask so lifelike, it's just creepy.

I also enjoyed watching the people wrench themselves out of those tiny little cars.

Coming Up...

Eyes Without a Face

24 - Seasons 1-4

Gilmore Girls - Seasons 1-5

Six Feet Under - Season 5

Silent Hill